Another Year Has Passed

Jan. 28, 2010

I come back to this site again, which I have done every now and then when I found better words to replace the old ones. As such, the texts are constantly evolving. And as always, I have to let out a long sigh lamenting not only the fast speed that time has slipped through my fingers but also why I did not continue to write. I must admit chief among all reasons, real or imagined, is that I just did not have the desire or the juice to write as it was a year ago. That said, I do have things to say now. God bless me.

……………………………….. Uh oh, I am stuck again, so much so for the before-thoughts and after-thoughts that are compressed in my head. I now aimlessly glance around and then I stop in front of the half-length mirror, staring at the image inside it. The mirror looks like a Wal-mart kind; its black and tawny wood frame is not as snugly secured as it ought to be. I have to press and push the four sides together to keep them from breaking loose. Curiously, I turn it back and find the price label intact; the price is $14.99 and it says, “made in U.S.A.,” I am afraid I have to take back the modifier, “Wal-mart kind.” It was salvaged last summer from the dump site at the apartment complex where I live. Before we moved here, we decided to store most of our furniture, including a cheval mirror, in a storage, thinking the move would be transitory. Little did we know! Until this mirror came along, we had gotten by with but a small vanity mirror in the bathroom. The reason we were OK was that I did not pay that much attention to my appearance — unlike when my hair was black, colored or not.

In the mirror, I see a comparatively young woman, with a fading grey on the top. Instantly, a term that was heard quite often back in my college days comes up: “Dead upon Broad Daylight (见光死）.” It was used to describe heavily made-up girls in a dance party: while the girls in the dance party looked great, once they stepped outside, they would all be “Dead upon Broad Daylight;” the makeup worked wonders. The phrase came to my mind quite often lately. “As long as I stay in the shade then I will be fine.” — I say this to myself because:

1. More than once, new acquaintance has commented I look young for my age. The conversations invariably took place inside a dark room. They were either in a dimly lit restaurant or at a dinner party.

2. The hair color contrast was striking when comparing my photos taken indoors with those outdoors.

This is the first post for this year, 2010. Hopefully I can pick up where I left off and continue on. Whenever I came back to this site, It never failed to surprise me when I saw what I wrote. I always thought writing as a torturous task that I naively set upon myself; a self-imposed ordeal, daring but foolish. During those writings, I would regret about my limited vocabulary and flawed grammar. Nonetheless, I finished them and that is where the surprise came from.

New year comes with new resolution: I wish this is not a short stint. I can’t guarantee it for I may slip back into the easy chore of just reading. You know, it is a secret that I always like easy life, which only my late mother knew, Oscar knows, and God knows. And then of course, my friends know that, too.

Now, the readers know. Please do not tell others.

Happy Chinese New Year to my family, my friends and the few readers of mine — Surprisingly, there have been occasional tiny blips in the otherwise long flat stats curve. I Hope the few minutes you spend here are enjoyable and your comments are always welcome.